For those of you rejoining me from when I abandoned my first blog back in June, welcome back and I hope you forgive my absence. For those continuing with me from the anonymous blog I began back in April, thanks for coming along!
And for those completely and totally new to all that is “me,” well—hi! Stick around, maybe? 🙂
I know it seems a little backwards for a new blog to start with a Year in Review, but if you’ve been with me at any point on the ride through 2014, it hopefully makes enough sense. I can’t say the same for the newbies.
Starting next Monday, I’ll be participating in the 2015 Blogging 101 to help get this new blog on its feet. For now, here’s how 2014 has been for me…
1. What did you do in 2014 that you had never done before?
The most meaningful thing I think I did this year that I’d never done before is that I pursued fertility treatments for my infertility/recurrent miscarriages. I put the fate of future parenthood in the hands of specialists and medications. The realization that I couldn’t maintain a pregnancy had come to light very abruptly and harshly at the end of 2013, and it was with great fear that I started down this road knowing that if the treatments—whatever they were—didn’t work, I may not have biological children of my own.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
In one of the first posts on my first blog, I came up with goals rather than resolutions with the hopes that working toward something would be better than resolving to start something cold turkey on January 1st. My goals were as follows:
1. Reach total weight loss of 50lbs. Yeah…well, I got almost halfway there. I lost over 22lbs before starting fertility treatments, and then all was shot to hell starting in July. Technically, this one is on hiatus until March 2015.
2. Maintain this blog. Oops. So, I abandoned my regular blog in June. But I did technically maintain an anonymous blog from April until this month…so…half-win?
3. Maintain a 4.0 GPA in graduate school. Hell yes, I reached this 100%! Even with all the chaos going on in my life during my third semester of school just this past fall, I have managed a 4.0 not once, not twice, but three times in three semesters. Booyah, bitches.
4. Do at least one internship. I did better. I got a job in my field as a project editor. WIN.
5. Buy a house. Yeppers. This one, too. Of course, I did this with the help of my wonderful husband. It was a team effort. Hooray, we are homeowners! Finally!
I’ll do the same this year in setting five goals for myself.
1. Reach a new weight of 175lbs. My ultimate weight goal will be lower than this, but I want to be realistic with myself. This new weight goal factors in losing all the weight I’ve gained since starting fertility treatments (when I lost 22lbs), plus an additional 15lbs or so. I know how hard it’ll be to lose the weight, but I’m determined. If I can get to 175lbs by December 31st, I’ll be quite proud.
2. Be honest with myself and what I want to do with this year. I’m on a leave of absence from graduate school right now, and I intend to go back in either the summer or fall. However, if I decide to spend 2015 focusing on my job and on my family, I won’t hold it against myself. I will honor my own desires and how I want to manage my time.
3. Get the house in full working order. You’d think this is an easy goal, but you’d be wrong. With everything we had going on the last few months, we are still living in boxes! I hope to have a home for all of our things, everything we don’t have and need purchased, and everything that’s not working or broken, up and running again.
4. Get out there and meet my neighbors; make some friends in the neighborhood. Once again, easier said than done! I’m kind of a shy person, often nervous about meeting new people. We lived in our apartment for four years and I never got to know anybody in the complex. Same with the apartment we lived in before that. This is different: we’re going to live here for the next 15-20 years. I need to get out there and introduce myself, and maybe even get involved with the town in some way.
5. Blog for an entire year—no excuses! While I wouldn’t exactly say my anonymous blog was an excuse to not blog—because I was still blogging—I need to get better at sticking to something when I start it. Come on, new blog! Let’s do this!
3. How did you spend Christmas? How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
I spent Christmas morning with my parents, my husband, and my brother and his girlfriend—as I have for the last five years or so. Christmas afternoon and evening was spent with my mother’s side of the family, and the day after with my father’s side, and the day after that with my in-laws. I will be spending New Year’s Eve…well, writing this blog post! And relaxing. And going to bed early, maybe.
4. Did anyone close to you give birth? die?
Thankfully, no one close to me died this year. I had too much death in 2012 and 2013. There is only one person in my life who had a baby—my friend from my last retail job, Brittany. Not sure if I can say I’m “close” to people I’ve never met before, but many of the friends I’ve met through WordPress and Twitter infertility communities have had babies this year. I am so happy for each and every one of them.
5. What places did you visit?
My husband and I went on a short weekend trip to New York in June, and then went on vacation to Washington DC and Virginia Beach in July!
6. What would have made 2014 more satisfying?
Seeking out the online infertility community sooner than April, when I was in the worst of the depression after my second miscarriage.
7. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
A little bit more focus, a little bit more calm, a little bit more stability and regularity to routine. This year was a jumble of about a million different things; I expect 2015 to be just as crazy, but hopefully in a more manageable and predictable way. I would also like a better dedication to blogging, because I really do love getting on here and sharing my story.
8. What date(s) from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 1st — the day I got the first positive pregnancy test, in a hotel room in Washington DC with my husband, of the first pregnancy of three to not end in a miscarriage ❤
July 6th — the would-be due date of our little Baby Bean, the second baby we lost to miscarriage in 2013…a hard day, but a day of closure
October 17th — the day my husband and I closed on our first house
9. What was your biggest achievement of the year? biggest failure?
Biggest achievement? I would have to say…starting a new job, buying a house, moving from our old apartment to said house, attending a semester of graduate school (and getting a 4.0), all while pregnant. Biggest failure would have to be messing up my whole blogging adventure. Oh well, that’s what 2015 is for…
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Oh, boy, did I ever! In mid-June, my husband and I were in a severe car accident. Our car was totaled, my husband fractured a rib, and I walked away with a fractured tibial plateau and contusions to my abdomen, arms, and legs. Found out I was pregnant less than two weeks later!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Super corny, but I would have to say the onesie that my husband and I picked out in Washington DC at the Crime and Punishment Museum. For me, it was a moment of faith in the pregnancy. I told jinxes to shove it because this time was going to be different. At least I hoped. And I was right…thankfully.
12. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
I would have to say a tie between my husband and my fertility specialist’s office, but I’m really not on the phone much…more of a texter.
13. Did you fall in love in 2014?
Yes. With the son I have growing inside me, from the moment I got that first positive pregnancy test, and with every listen to his heartbeat and look inside with ultrasounds. ❤
14. Where did most of your money go?
Definitely toward the house! BIG DOWN PAYMENT.
15. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
The same as usual. Put it this way: I shop with my 19-year-old cousin. She basically dresses me. I have zero fashion sense. Although, I must say, I think I’ve been my most stylish ever since only being able to fit into maternity clothes…
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2014?
17. What do you wish you’d done more of? less of?
I wish I had done more of enjoying this pregnancy. As much as people were telling me to, and as much as I wanted to, it was really hard to allow myself to get attached when the fear of it being taken away from me was so very real. However, now that I am closing in on the end…I do wish I had enjoyed it more than I let myself. I wish I had done less worrying, less crying, less grieving. Even though it was all necessary and going to happen no matter what, it was all very exhausting and took a lot out of me.
18. What did you want and get? want and not get?
First half is easy: a healthy, viable pregnancy. Second half, less easy: I suppose…an easy pregnancy? Hasn’t been nearly as hard as those I’ve seen in the community, but hey, you asked. Spending my first trimester on crutches was not in the least bit desirable.
19. What was your favorite TV show? favorite book? greatest musical discovery? favorite movie?
My favorite TV show would have to be Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Favorite book…well, I only read a few books this year, and those were the books in The Hunger Games series—so good! Greatest musical discovery was more of a rediscovery: I got reacquainted with a lot of old favorites like the Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox Twenty, Lifehouse, David Gray, and Coldplay. Favorite movie would have to be…Frozen? I guess? I can’t remember any other movies I watched this year…
20. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned twenty-seven this year! I did nothing special…I worked, came home and relaxed, and that was it.
21. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a. happier or sadder?
b. thinner or fatter?
c. richer or poorer?
Happier for sure; fatter (but pregnancy!); and definitely poorer (hashtag homeownership problems).
22. What kept you sane?
My husband. My family. And the endless friends I made in the online infertility community. Don’t think I would’ve survived the year without these three groups of people. No way. ❤
23. Who did you miss?
All year, my babies. In December, my grandfather (he passed away Christmas Day, 2012).
24. Did you make new friends this year? Who was the best new person you met?
Absolutely! So many people through WordPress and Twitter, especially in the infertility community. I wouldn’t say that there was a “best” person I met, but there is certainly one that stands out among the others. My friend Aimee has been there for me through the ups and downs of fertility treatments and pregnancy after multiple miscarriages, on a one-on-one sense. Even though she lives halfway across the US, I feel like the friendship I’ve developed with her is truly genuine. Feel free to check out her business blog (she’s a nutritionist) or her personal blog!
25. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I think my husband deserves major kudos. The way he has handled himself, and me, in the last year is incredible. It hasn’t been easy, I’m sure, but he’s rallied. He’s been my #1 support system and has done an amazing job of picking up the pieces of me when I fall apart and putting them back together.
26. What did you get really excited about?
Obviously, this pregnancy. Buying a house, our first house, with my husband. My new job, doing what I love to do. Christmas. And, in a way, the end of this year. 2014 wasn’t necessarily all bad to me, but I’m ready for 2015. Ready to turn the page. Ready for the next chapter.
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned.
You’re always stronger than you think you are. You don’t know it in the moment, but you are.
28. What does 2015 hold for you?
I think it holds a lot. For one, it’ll hold the birth of my son (long as he doesn’t make an early appearance anytime in the next few hours…), my first child. It’ll be the first year living in a house with my husband, and making that work. I think there is more in store for me next year, too. More than I can see at the moment. I know I’m excited, that’s for sure. Come on, New Year, I’m ready for you!
I hope this was remotely interesting for most of you—and that it gave you some insight as to who I am as a person. I’m excited to get this blog rolling. Even though it was between two blogs, I successfully blogged for an entire year this year…which means I can do it again! And better this time! 🙂
Happy New Year, everyone!