This post is a part of Blogging 101: Day One, Introduce Yourself.
Fast Forward a Year—One Blog, Two Blog, Three Blog, New Blog
Last year, I wrote this post on my old public blog as to the reasons it existed. Some of those things still ring true. Blogging is no longer new to me—I have, in fact, been blogging for a year (though those of you who followed that first blog didn’t know that, nor did the people who followed my anonymous blog). But I do still want to practice my writing skills—especially since I will be on hiatus from school for, at minimum, a semester. And I do still want to get myself “out there.” Writing is something I’ve always loved to do, why not do something with it?
Infertility and Recurrent Miscarriage—the “Motherhood”
And I do still want to connect with people, as I said almost exactly one year ago, though I wasn’t entirely upfront and honest about everything I wanted to be sharing with people:
I’ve been through quite a bit. I want to share whatever tiny amounts of wisdom I’ve collected so far, and share them with others.
When I wrote those words last year, I was still drenched in the heartache that had accompanied two miscarriages and faced an uncertain future regarding a family with my husband. Having kept our first loss a secret, and having lost our second baby on Christmas Eve (the day before we were going to announce, as I should’ve been safely out of the first trimester by then), very few family and friends knew of our struggle. Not only did I feel that telling them in a blog post would be inappropriate, but I didn’t feel ready to tell them—period. I was still grieving, I was still lost, I was still angry. I was struggling to make those who did know understand just how grief-stricken, lost, and angry I was.
This year, I’m definitely in a very different place. My son is due anytime in the next nine weeks (we hope…my in-laws have a propensity for being late, so he could come really whenever he feels like it). When my husband and I announced the pregnancy to our family and friends, we explained everything in person with as many people as we could. For the rest, I sent an email with a few details of how the last two years had been for us and that we were expecting again. For those friends I wasn’t as close to, my honest Facebook announcement delivered the news.
Now that we are “out,” I can truly pursue that objective I have quoted above: sharing my story and connecting with people.
With my anonymous blog (and an anonymous twitter account), I have already connected with dozens of amazing men and women who suffer from infertility or recurrent miscarriages. Many have had more losses; many have become pregnant and had their babies; many are pregnant now, as I am, navigating the murky, choppy waters that is “pregnancy after IF or RPL”; many have moved on to adoption; and many still are not pregnant or not parents in any way. I am constantly learning from all of them, even now. Keeping in touch with them is a big reason I want to keep blogging.
I also want to share my own story. I want others like me—whether they have recurrent losses, or hypothyroidism, or hyperprolactinemia, or uterine polyps, or a clotting disorder—to be able to read my story on my other blog and find advice, information, comfort, empathy. That’s why I didn’t delete my anonymous blog, and rather brought it into the light and connected it with this one. It’s all my story. If I can help just one person in any way with my writing, then I’m happy. Whether they look at that old blog to find out what I did to get myself pregnant, or follow this blog to see how parenthood after loss is going, or both…that is why I am here. To connect. To relate. To give hope.
It’s Not All Bumps and Bellies—the “Everything Else”
Okay, yes, my two-year struggle to become a mom is obviously a big part of my life. I can’t negate that. The loss of my babies still haunts me, even with my son on the way, and my infertility issues have changed the way I a) live my life and b) see my life. Parenthood will predictably become a big part of my everyday life. The last two years will still impact me on a daily basis. But I don’t want this blog to just be about infertility and recurrent miscarriages, or just a “mommy blog.” There are a lot of other things I could, and probably will, talk about on this blog. For instance…
- sports (I’m a big hockey fan, even bigger Boston Bruins fan!)
- Ipsy (I will be receiving my first Glam Bag this month, and I’m quite excited about it. I’ve never tried one of these things before, and I wasn’t really into makeup until after my wedding—and even now, I’m a complete amateur—but I’m excited to test some products out. So I will probably do Ipsy reveals, or reviews, or something along those lines. Also, this is about as girly as this blog is going to get.)
- graduate school (I’m on hiatus now, but I’ll eventually be going back…with a full-time job and a baby. It’ll be interesting.)
- book reviews (I need to get back into the swing of reading more often. I know, I know, I picked a poor time to try and do this. But I don’t read nearly as much as I used to, so maybe being expected to read one book a month and put a review up on here will help me stick to it?)
- homeownership (Ahhh, because you see, even though we’ve owned our house for nearly three months and have lived there for nearly two, it is far from being “ours” yet. We repainted the living room and the kitchen, and that’s about it. I forsee many posts about home renovations and redecorating, before-and-after shots, tips and tricks, and so on.)
- the publishing industry, near and far (I’m a project editor for a nonprofit company and I am attending Emerson College for a master’s degree in publishing and writing. While I am content in my editorial position, I want to start writing on the side once I’ve settled down a bit. Short stories and novels? Maybe. Articles for websites and/or magazines and/or blogs? Maybe. I don’t know how or where, but eventually I will start freelancing. The job I have now will pay the bills; the side job I’ll try to acquire later will please my little writerly heart. I’ll also probably write about goings-on in the publishing industry: observations I made or make, commentary on big stories, topics I am passionate about…)
- weight loss (As I mentioned in my “Year in Review” post, I have a set weight goal of 175lbs to reach by the end of 2015, with more to lose in 2016!)
- cats, coffee, Joss Whedon, the weather, being an NCO’s wife, and—to be honest—anything that strikes my fancy because I am limitless in what I feel I can blog about…
As you can see, this isn’t a “mommy blog,” or an “infertility blog,” or a “writer’s blog,” or an “Ipsy Glam Bag” blog. It’s just me, in blog form. It’s my life. I want to entertain you, make you think, break your heart, make you cry, make you smile, make you wonder where the hell I came from.
Can you handle that? Then follow along. 😉