No doubt about it now, folks—I am full term. Today, I am amazed to say I am 37 weeks pregnant with my third pregnancy overall and, it would very very well appear, my first viable pregnancy.
‘Scuse my French, but holy fucking shitballs.
HOLY BIG BELLY, BATMAN!
So for some people, this may sound strange, but I don’t look at myself in the mirror—specifically, my belly—that often. From the normal vantage point of my face, sure, I look down at my bare and clothed belly and watch my son move around and I touch it and wonder how on earth it’s possible that I’m growing a life inside there. But I don’t check myself out in the mirror on a daily basis. For one, both of our bathroom mirrors are chest height. For two, our walk-in closet mirror is full-length but I am hardly ever in there, what with the few maternity clothes I can still fit into normally strewn about the bedroom in some haphazard manner. And for three, I’m insecure. I’m insecure about my body, pregnant or not, and being told how big I look and how I’m measuring ahead and watching that scale go up and up and up is tough on my mind sometimes. Most times, I try not to care. But sometimes, that doesn’t work.
Anyway…my husband and I stopped by my parents’ house this weekend to pick up the shop-vac for the nursery (more on that in a bit!) and I had to use the bathroom. I happened to step in front of their low-lying mirrors over the sink as I pulled the stretchy band part of my pants up over my belly…and out of curiosity, I pulled it back down and turned sideways.
And holy crap, I almost passed out.
Now I can see where people are coming from when they tell me they can’t believe I haven’t popped this kid out yet, or am I sure there’s not two in there (though that comment irks me for different reasons…the “be careful what you say to whom” type of reasons). I am pretty darn big. I look at myself, even, and feel like I’m right in line with mommies of multiples. But I have to remember how short I am! This belly is literally (probably) all baby.
I was just surprised…that’s all. Heh heh.
My husband and I attended a full-day childbirth class on Saturday, ahead of the Valentine’s Day blizzard. Boy, was it a lot…in a good way, though. The woman leading the class was the same we had for the class on infant care and safety, so that was good. As a mother of four and a former L&D nurse, it’s easy to take what she says at face value. She went over so much, I’m inclined to think she went over everything: stages of labor, physical changes, episiotomy, c-section, vacuum/forceps extraction, the placenta, medicated/unmedicated, the list goes on and on. I mean sure, did she seriously fully prepare us for anything and everything that could happen and how it will make us feel? No. Impossible. She’d need weeks to do that. But I felt really well-informed, and despite the intense anxiety and impatience I felt, I also felt better prepared than I was before I walked in.
And perhaps one of the best parts of the whole day was my husband’s participation. He read the booklet we were given, he asked questions, he helped me take notes on things we might otherwise forget by the time we get to the point of having this baby. Maybe it’s the whoremones, but I was just overwhelmed by his involvement. I know he’s going to be amazing when it comes right down to it. I may not see it in the moment, but I know now and will know later that he’ll be my biggest support and best advocate. ❤
We primed one whole wall last weekend! Wahoo! Hopefully, my husband spends Friday taping the rest of the room so we can get back to priming and eventually painting this weekend. I want this stuff done! And don’t worry, I’ve been taking progress photos starting from before we even took the wallpaper off, so there will be a post documenting the whole obnoxious process once it’s finished.
Okay, so…I had an appointment with my CNM this morning, followed by an ultrasound. I’m still processing, and I’m still emotional, and things are still happening, so I don’t want to get into it all at the moment. If you are friends with me on Facebook or follow my personal twitter, you already know. And I’ll give the rest of you a general overview: baby boy is HUGE, and vaginal delivery is probably out of the question, and a c-section at 39 weeks is very likely. I promise, if not before, I will go over everything at my 38 weeks pregnancy update. Just mentally and emotionally exhausted, and still working through things, and just not feeling up to talking about it quite yet.
With that said, when I started this draft a few days ago, I probably wanted to say a lot more…but the appointment and ultrasound from yesterday threw me for a loop. I can say I finally brought in my paperwork (the consent form and the power of attorney) yesterday. But we are still very far behind on things. Pediatrician (WHOOPS), putting the car seat actually in the car, calling my insurance about the breast pump, packing the diaper and hospital bags, and so on. Given what I learned yesterday, I uh…better get on all of this crap. Like…ASAP.