I am so tired of it.
I’m tired of the hate. I’m tired of the violence. I’m tired of the racism. I’m tired of the discrimination. I’m tired of the fucked-up culture we live in today.
I’m tired of a country that made it possible for a bigoted, racist, mysogynistic douchebag to run for President.
I’m tired of, as a woman, being told that if I drink too much or if I dress inappropriately, that I deserve to be raped. I’m tired of that fact that having to watch my back is a conversation, not teaching people how to act around other people.
Not teaching people how to be human. Not teaching people not to rape, not to assault, not to harass, not to shoot people because they don’t live life according to your rules.
I am fucking tired of all of it. And right now, in the wake of everything but most recently the gun violence in Florida, I feel helpless. Really helpless. Not hopeless, but helpless as to what I can do to change things. I vote, and I educate when and where I can, and I speak out when and where I can, and it never seems to be enough.
This afternoon, my son woke early from his midday nap. He got up and played, running and screeching with his toys, while the news played quietly in the background as I waited for the President’s briefing. I looked at my son and I felt a little less helpless.
I can do something. I will do something.
I will love, support, and respect my son regardless of his gender, sexual orientation, or beliefs.
I will raise my son to love, support, and respect others regardless of gender, sexual orientation, religion, race, or anything else.
I will educate my son, the child of an American soldier, on the importance of gun control—why it is important, what the impact is.
I will respect my son’s body, his space—and raise him with the knowledge that he should ask the same from all others.
I will raise my son to respect the bodies and spaces of all others.
I will teach my son about consent and that no means no, by example.
I will raise my son to be the type of person who will protect his friends when they can’t protect themselves, who will step in and call for help when someone is being assaulted or raped.
Today, I promise I am doing my part in my own home to try and change the way things are now. I promise I am raising my son this way and teaching him these things, to the best of my ability. And if, for whatever reason, all else fails…
I will hold my son accountable for his actions.